you and i

The left arrow key on this keyboard is giving out.
I had to start somewhere, hi!
Happy belated Valentines day. Guess what? I'm thirteen! Happy belated birthday to me.
Right now I'm writing a story about a teenage girl. I won't give the rest away, except for the fact that she thinks she only has one more year to live. It's in a rough, rough, state.

The rest of today's post is going to be rather small because it's deep and embarrassing.

So everybody, I know what high school I'm going to. It's been a weird couple of weeks. 
I'm really happy that I'm graduating, leaving this nest. But I guess that this couple of weeks I've realized that everybody I see everyday is going to be saying goodbye to each other, everybody I've built my childhood upon, every morning I've spent learning with these people, it's all going to be parting ways. We'll have to start again at the bottom of another school, the majority of us never going to see the other half again. I'll have to part with one of my best friends, and blog, I'm so scared. 
I like my life at this elementary school. I've taken it for granted before but I'm terrified of saying goodbye to it. It's a second home to me, literally. It's my life right now, my very instance. Most of what I do is there. Most of what I've done is there. I've practically lived there. Now I'm expected to pack my bags and try again somewhere else. 

I got into my first choice of high schools - a fine arts school. I got accepted for drama. I didn't get to celebrate because I was sick. But my mom woke me up with the good news, and it was all I needed. 

Sometimes I'm worried that I'm going crazy, because I get home-sick. At home. I'll cry over memories from last week. Hell, I'll cry over memories from yesterday. Good or bad. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm going insane. Yesterday, last month in a half, four months ago. Whatever it is, I'll cry. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm counting down my days until I graduate and I'm just bracing myself for the big goodbye in June. 

The memories that I cry most about are from last summer of 2012. Everything was so perfect. I don't know why it was. I was unconditionally happy. The only things that mattered were in the moment. I was sane, it was beautiful. I'm worried that nothing will ever be as close to perfect as that again. My throat closes up, my tears start to string. I close my bedroom door and just let them fall. Like I was born to remember.    


big dreams gangster

This is only about 9/193809 of the pictures Colette and I take.
I think the FAQ video has been postponed. All the questions I've received are amazing, but I've, for some reason, found it hard to put it onto video form. What is this "camera" you speak of? Where did it come from? Who sent you? The questions will be used in either a future post or video.
I've decided to do a tutorial instead. You'll see. Soon.


dolly dreams

These are Blythe Dolls I found from this shop on Etsy.
I have a new class at school! Grade seven is pretty cool! You get the staircase in the back field, you get the benches at assemblies, and you get grad. ♥ grad. grad. grad. 


black and white - landscapes and style icons

(Some pretty Tumblr landscapes that aren't black and white.)

From very top of post, both Tumblr, the next two are Rene Burri, next two Tumblr, Gashlycrumb Tinies. The last two are photos me and Colette have taken with my dad's camera while we've been away, either it be staying at a cabin near a lake or camping. The first one was taken by me of random bruises. The final one is of me in a ring me and her made on a beach while camping, taken by Colette.


Faye Dunaway (top) and Marianne Faithfull (bottom). THINGS I LOVE: I love Faye Dunaway's beret and Marianne Faithfull's hair. I love Marianne Faithfull's peacoat and how her sleeves peak through, and I love how Faye Dunaway has an almost Margot Tenebaum style--simple and grainy, as in heathered, almost. Her Margot bob also contributes to the candid and honest look.  


outfit gelato

From the COMME des GARCONS site.  

This is me in a over-sized plaid jacket/sweater. It's my new best friend. I'm pretty sure if you asked all my friends "what is the article of clothing that Ruby wheres the most" they would say "this used plaid jacket/sweater" But please don't ask them - that would be waaay creepy, like my smile in this picture.  

A Cheap Monday skull that I hang in my room for no reason. 

Shirt: American Apparel. Skirt: A thrift store in Oregon. Tights: H&M. 
I don't really like this photo, it just doesn't go with the ones above it. But it gets my point across. 

My (dad's) camera is out of batteries, so this photo was taken by my iPod Touch. It really brings out the "Simpson's" mustard in my tights. Up close, they kind of look like a mango gelato. Mmm. 
It's summer! I was so depressed when I heard about the Rookie Road Trip, considering how I live in Canada, and their journey wouldn't cross the boarder. But my mum and I are going to drive to Seattle for their stop... And their will be pictures! And a cool outfit! I hope. Everyone's going to look so fantastic and looking like they don't give a while I sit there looking at everyone's skirts and lacy dresses and bangs while yelping for attention in a Michael Cera fashion. 

In other news, I need more questions for my FAQ video. Remember to email me! ruby.karelia@gmail.com